So my neighbors and I went to the Evergreen State Fair a couple weekends ago and man it was quite a time. Strap on your jammies, grab some heart-annihilating fair food and check out these photos I took of some of the spectacles!

This hoss really really loved being petted on the snout. He kept sticking it on out like in the photo until he got nose-scritches from a passerby.

I’M A HURRRRRRRRRRSE

The Marilyn Manson of horses. I thought it was some kind of freakish mutation but apparently this is a semi-normal thing? IDK, it was freaky deaky if you ask me.

This lovely lady was hanging out among the infomercials. I think she was spontaneously formed there when all the roofing companies and ring-cleaners and vacuum salesmen got together.

An unspeakably horrifying Michael Jackson effigy they set up at the “Moonwalker”ride. It’s on the outside of the structure and goes up and down as the ride progresses because in real life Michael Jackson could levitate at will.

These were the neighbors I went with! Lookit their smiling faces!

MOTHERFUCKING FAIR FOOD THAT WILL SHIT INTO YOUR VEINS AND TASTE SO GOOD YOU WON’T NOTICE THAT YOU NEED A RASCAL NOW. Luckily they sell those in the infomercial area, so you’re good.

Pffffffhtht hahaha

Oh god these baby goats were so damn cute. They went MEH-H-H-H-H and scampered around and went down slides and had curly little ears.

RASTA SHEEP

Have you ever seen a pig that looked more like what a damn pig should look like in your entire life?

This bunny had a built-in neck pillow. Fucking jealous! I guess if I eat enough fair-food I’ll grow one; I think I saw a few people wandering around who had ‘em.

Longbunny is looooooong.

AND THEN THERE WAS THIS FINE-ASS SPECIMEN. You know she just wanders from fair to fair, stunning the world.

PIGGY RACES! My boy Sloppy Joe took home the glory.

Of course there were the requisite chainsaw-bears in full effect.

I particularly appreciated the thoughtfulness of the ferris wheel maintenance crew for putting a kiddie pool and some buckets underneath to catch all the hydraulic fluid and oil that was leaking out. It’s the little touches that let you know they care!

That monkey has a banana for a penis, is the thing here. I don’t know, I thought it was pretty funny.

THE EVERGREEN STATE FAIR, ladies and gents! They’re glad your here. You can go ahead and leave you’re grammar at home, but stick around for the deep-fried butter.